Hype from my era

Hay Fiona

This is from 1992 when I used to go see hype along with 15 thousand other wide eyed ravers. He was and is a scratch master, this is still fast but not quite D&B yet.



I was at this rave it was at the Sanctuary in Bletchley next to Rollers. I even danced on stage at one point. Poor quality but there where no Mobile phone cameras in those days. You don't see me in this clip but I am on the full video if you can find it.

Feed me

Hype has been one of my favorite DJs since my Labyrinth days back in 1990. Food for an old ravers soul.

Check out the bad ass scratching.

dj hype drum & bass arena

Fonejacker

I'm sitting here watching Fonejacker on Channel 4 catchup while Bart is on the US news sites he loves so much. I thought I would share a couple of clips. For those of you that don't know Fonejacker it is a show based on crank calls made by one man Comedian Kayvan Novak. I love him just a little bit he is very versatile.

The best chicken joke ever

So how did my car die

Let me bore you with the crash details. There is a quote from the nice lady that hit me that made some of the girls at work laugh, you just have to read on for me to reveal it.

I left work early on Friday and went to get myself supplied with beer for the weekend. That is where things started to go down hill. I got to the counter with my beer and waited for my Switch card to be accepted, you know when it just takes too long and the threat of denial looms over you, and you can feel the queue behind you hushing to hear for the bad news. Well it was like that, eventually the girl said, 'the connection is down I think your card is fine,' sighs of relief from me and groans of disappointment from the queue. So being a solutions kind of guy I went over to the cash machine and made a withdrawal to payed for my precious.



Pleased with myself off I set for home and my comfy chair and an ice cold beer. I got to the junction where I turn right and had to stop to wait for the oncoming traffic to pass. I had my break lights on and I was indicating correctly. Suddenly I see a blue flash in my rear view mirror and think to myself this is going to hurt and - bang. A witness who helpfully stopped estimated her speed at 60 mph. There were no skid marks, so she didn't even break. There was quite a big jolt and I came to rest on the same side of the road thankfully. I did a quick check and all my bits seemed to be functioning so I pulled the car up on to the grass verge and got out to see who had hit me and to see if they were OK. She was a small blond, around 30, and was initially sure that the whole thing was my fault. Our witness put a sharp end to that, and she soon admitted that she didn't even see me in the road until she was millimeters from my bumper.



We sat around at the road side for a while as insurance details were swapped; all this done I walked home to fetch Bart as I didn't have my phone on me. When we returned to the car the nice lady was still there waiting for the AA to pick up her car and take her home. As I approached her from the car she started to cry. Obviously, the kind hearted people person that I am, I went to comfort her (remember this was all her fault). As I got close enough for her to whisper she said, "I have just had a boob job and they don't feel right" she was holding her chest as she spoke. I was a little unsure as to how I should respond to this so I just said I'm sure they will be fine and patted her on the shoulder. I was tempted but I thought better of it.

So I have asked around at work and no one so far has been able to beat this as a post crash quote. I'm fine by the way, but the car is dead.

Palin the Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancherwhose hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Palin and her bid.
The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a 'Post Turtle.'"
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle.'
"The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, and she doesn't know what to do while she's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass her up there to begin with."

Sick Sick Sick

I guess: 8,559,689 views can't be wrong.

Scab

Taken from YouTube short films from around the world. I like this a lot.

For Andrew

I found it, get ready for Moped the official Scooter tribute band.

Click Here

And here

And this one is for me, Fiona and Charles.

Go to the website here

Obama the comedian

OK Bart I know you will like this one

Sorry you missed it babe.

For Bart

This made me think of you in the car today, I know that you like them. So I thought I would share.



Simon is just about my favorite person on TV it's just a shame he doesn't do T4 on Sunday mornings anymore. This is what he did with the Kooks. Enjoy!!

The bright side of the credit crunch

I know that people are hurting out there and I genuinely feel for them. Bart wrote about it in a way that I wish I could have on his blog. For Bart and I this credit crunch thing may have a silver lining. House prices in MK have always been high due partly to our close proximity (just 45 minutes by train) to London, and the great range of leisure and business opportunities within the city.

We have lived in the same house close to ten years now and we are both getting itchy feet, but we do not have the purchasing power to move up the housing ladder. Maybe now things are moving in our direction. Over the past couple of months we have seen houses that a year ago would have been close to the £300,000 (or $600,000 at the exchange rates of the time) mark are now much more realistically priced - almost affordable, assuming that you are able to get a new mortgage. I understand that this is a nightmare if you bought at the top of the market, but it's good news for people like us who have stayed put for some time and are not in negative equity (only just), and have reasonably safe employment.

The story below gives a view on how the housing market is being affected here today.


UK house prices 'continue fall'

The fall echoed the monthly drop in August
UK house prices have fallen for an 11th consecutive month, dropping by 1.7% in September, according to the Nationwide.

The lender recorded a 12.4% annual drop in prices, pushing the cost of the average UK home down to £161,797, more than £20,000 less than a year ago.

Nationwide said the pace of house price falls had stabilised, but warned the next year or two would be "difficult".

House prices were down year-on-year across the UK, with southern England suffering worse than the north.

The rate of fall, which was the same as in August, has remained relatively unchanged in the past three months.

"Casting back one year, there have been some astonishing and unpredictable developments in the housing and financial markets," said Fionnuala Earley, Nationwide's chief economist.

But she added that in the long-term there was no reason why house prices would not continue to grow in real terms even though there was a "sharp correction" now.

How long the correction lasts and how deep the fall in prices is depends largely on sentiment, as well as an end to the turmoil in the financial markets, she says.

Her analysis comes shortly after the Council of Mortgage Lenders suggested that predicting the short term course of house prices was "futile".

Regional breakdown

The Nationwide has also released figures showing prices during the third quarter of the year in different areas of the UK.

Ms Earley said that a distinctive feature of the July to September period was the accelerating fall in house prices in the south of England compared with the north.

Four of the six regions registering double-digit price declines were in the South, with East Anglia and the South West showing the biggest annual drops - both 11.4%.

Northern Ireland showed the steepest decline in house prices across the UK, which are now 29.8% lower than a year ago.

So when you next come to visit we may have taken advantage of this situation and be in a new home.

Gurkhas win right to stay in UK

This is great news for common sense. I have the utmost respect for the Gurkha regiment and the brave soldiers that serve in it.

I remember seeing a documentary on TV when I was a kid that was focused on the Gurkha regiment and its history. I remember being moved at how these young men from across the world would (Gurkha, also spelled as "Gorkha" are people from Nepal, who take their name from the eighth century warrior-saint "Guru Gorakhnath" fight (literally) for the right to serve in the British army. I can't think that young men and women here would put themselves through the very rigorous selection process. Not only do they fight bravely but the Gurkhas are always right up there on the front line. Fighting for a country that they have probably never seen in the flesh.

I feel ashamed that these brave old solderers have had to fight us to gain the right to live here if they so wish. Surely this should be the absolute least that we can do for them. I Wonder if the fight for equal pension payments will have the same happy outcome, lets hope so.



A group of retired Gurkhas fighting for the right to settle in Britain have won their immigration test case at London's High Court.

They were challenging immigration rules which said that those who retired from the British Army before 1997 did not have an automatic right to stay.

Prominent supporter actress Joanna Lumley said it was a "chance to right a great wrong".

The government said it would now review all Gurkhas' cases.

'Debt of honour'

The regiment moved its main base from Hong Kong to the UK in 1997 and the government had argued that Gurkhas discharged before that date were unlikely to have strong residential ties with the UK.

That meant those who wanted to settle in the UK had to apply for British residence and could be refused and deported.

The judgement could affect some 2,000 former Gurkhas who retired before 1997.

The judge, Mr Justice Blake, said the Gurkhas' long service, conspicuous acts of bravery and loyalty to the Crown all pointed to a "moral debt of honour" and gratitude felt by British people.

He ruled that instructions given by the Home Office to immigration officials were unlawful and needed urgent revision.

Lawyer Martin Howe said: "Today we have seen a tremendous and historic victory for the gallant Gurkha veterans of Nepal.

"This is a victory that restores honour and dignity to deserving soldiers who faithfully served in Her Majesty's armed forces.

"It is a victory for common sense; a victory for fairness; and a victory for the British sense of what is right."

Gurkhas win right to stay in UK

The five ex-Gurkhas involved in the test case were L/Cpl Gyanendra Rai, Deo Prakash Limbu, Cpl Chakra Limbu, L/Cpl Birendra Shrestha and Bhim Gurung. Gita Mukhiya also took part on behalf her deceased husband.

Gurkhas have been part of the British Army for almost 200 years and are hand picked from a fiercely contested recruitment contest in Nepal to win the right to join.

They have seen combat all over the world, with 200,000 fighting in the two world wars.

'Wonderful vindication'

Lumley, whose father served with the Gurkhas, was one of those leading the campaign.


Victoria Cross winners Lachhiman Gurungi and Tul Bahadour Pun


How the Gurkhas are celebrating

Outside court, she said: "This day is more important than I can tell you because it gives our country the chance to right a great wrong and to wipe out a national shame that has stained us all."

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg said it was a "wonderful vindication" for those who had campaigned for a change in the law.

"I've always felt that if someone is prepared to die for this country, then they should have the right to live in this country," he said.

"The key thing now is to look at the ruling in detail and to make sure that the government now translates that into action and doesn't try and squirm out of it."

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said in a statement that the Home Office would revise its guidance surrounding the 1997 cut-off date.

"I have always been clear that where there is a compelling case, soldiers and their families should be considered for settlement," she said.

"We will honour our commitment to the Gurkhas by reviewing all cases by the end of the year."

An Oirish Story.

An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems....

'Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot'.
So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.
'Incredible'he says, 'there is a £20 note lodged up here.'
Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a £10
pound note appears.
'This is amazing!'exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?'
'Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man! 'shrieks the patient.
The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and
another and another, etc.....
Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.
'Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter. Just out of interest, how
moch was in dare den?'
The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says '£1,990 exactly.'
'Ah, dat'd be roit,'' says the Irishman
(Wait for it...........scroll down.)









'I knew I wasn't feeling two grand..'

Is this really racism?

English family attacked by stones

The family were on a caravan holiday in the area.
A family cut short their holiday in Gwynedd after being attacked by a rock-throwing youth, a court has been told.
Dolgellau Youth Court heard the 16-year-old also abused the family from Bolton because they were English.
The youth admitted racially aggravated threatening behaviour at Blaenau Ffestiniog.
He also admitted common assault and disorderly conduct in an incident in Barmouth. He was warned he faced jail. The case was adjourned until 6 October.
The court heard the family missed their trip back to Porthmadog on the Ffestiniog Railway, on 28 August ,because they had accompanied the mother to Ysbyty Gwynedd hospital in Bangor, where she was treated for an arm injury.
'Shocked and upset'
Ian Evans, prosecuting, said the family had cut short their holiday in the area following the attack.
They were shocked and upset by what had happened, he added.
Mr Evans said some of the rocks thrown had landed on passing and parked cars.
The youth was alleged to have shouted racist abuse at the family because they were from England.
The father, a 32-year-old plumber, telephoned the police and then tried to take a photograph of the youth near Blaenau Ffestiniog train station.
'Hoody'
The witness gave the police a description of the youth, and said he could not take a proper photograph of him because he had pulled his hood over his head.
The court heard the youth had a list of previous convictions and had been on supervision since 2005.
In a separate incident outside a nightclub in Barmouth on 31 August the youth hit out at his ex-girlfriend after being refused admission.
He pleaded guilty to racially aggravated threatening behaviour at Blaenau Ffestiniog and common assault and disorderly conduct in Barmouth.
John Parsons, defending, said magistrates probably wanted pre-sentence reports.
"I have told my client the difficulties he finds himself in," said Mr Parsons.
Court chairman Gwilym Evans said the magistrates felt the custody threshold had been passed.
Sentence was adjourned until 6 October for reports to be prepared.
The youth was granted unconditional bail.

Comedian Ricky Gervais on 8 Things That Annoy Him

I have just stolen this directly from MSN news. It made me laugh I hope it does the same for you.


Eight things that annoy the British comedian.

Winston Churchill once said, "If you find a job you like, you'll never work again." I realized from an early age that there is no point in living for a holiday or living for a weekend. But as I get older, I'm realizing that all my comedy—all the things I've ever done—is about getting stuff off my chest. In my new film, "Ghost Town," I play a misanthropic guy who hates the world.
He closed his heart years ago and nothing gets through. He likes being a dentist because he can shove things in people's mouths and they can't talk to him. But then dead people start to bother him, and that's even worse. I think I'm slowly turning into that guy. It's gotten to where the slightest thing can ruin my day. For instance:

Unnecessary noise. Let's say there's a construction worker sanding down a door. OK, that's a bit annoying, but fair enough, it's his job. But why does he then add whistling to that? Don't add whistling. It doesn't cancel it out. It's not like mixing an alkaline with an acid. It makes it twice as annoying. Sanding the door—you need to do that. An ambulance siren—you need that. But whistling? It's not like you're whistling Brahms. It's like a cat walking on a piano.

Gossip magazines. The worst is the "spotted" section. "Spotted! Johnny Depp on the set of his new movie." Brilliant. What a surprise, him being there. "You'll never guess what I read: someone spotted Johnny Depp!" "Oh, yeah? Where?" "Miles away, different country, doesn't matter."

Lateness. Drives me mad. Can't stand it. Because I'm always 20 minutes early. So if you're 10 minutes late, well, in my mind, that's half an hour late. Also, I don't want to be alone, so if I'm meeting a friend at the pub, I won't go inside. I'll walk round and round the block because I don't want to be seen sitting there by myself. And besides, how could anyone not want to rush to meet me? I'm famous—I should be the one who turns up late.

People who use the line"I say what I think." No, you're rude, and you're just trying to make it a virtue. People are always going on about how "I'm not two-faced." No, but you are a nasty, fascist, racist piece of dirt. That outweighs two-faced. Next time, be two-faced.

People who think they're "eccentric." What does that mean? You wear lots of different hats? You ride a funny-colored bike? That makes you eccentric? A friend of mine moved out to the country, and the woman next door came round; she was sort of hippie-ish, very long hair, back to nature, all that stuff. And she says, "I've made you a rice pudding, and I've made it with breast milk, because, you know, waste not, want not!" So my friend took it, threw it away, washed the dish and gave it back. He said to her, "Thanks, that was great!" I couldn't believe it. I told him that he should've said, "No, there is no way I'm eating that. Definitely not. Do not bring me any other bodily-function puddings."

People trying too hard to be funny. Like clowns. They put on a big pair of trousers and a big red nose and they fall over. The only way that would be funny is if he was forced to dress up and he was watching his family being tortured, and then he fell over.
Now that's funny.

Conspiracy theories. They were annoying enough when it was just people talking bollocks in pubs. But now with the Internet, there are forums. These people can find each other. There was one great conspiracy theory about the end of our HBO series, "Extras." In the last episode we had a scene with my partner on the show, Stephen Merchant, and Robert De Niro—and the conspiracy theory was that De Niro was not actually in the room with Stephen. "You can see that it's a split screen," they claimed. Right. We got De Niro, but the hard bit was getting Stephen in the same room. That makes sense. It's just people who think they're clever. No, you don't know anything. You live with your mum, you're on the computer all day. You've got three friends, and you've never actually met any of them.

Lazy journalism. I've actually had good luck with the media, because early on I established that I only talk about work. I don't invite magazines around my home. So I've had a great ride. But one of the first times I went out to an award show, this journalist on the red carpet asked me, "What advice would you give to someone who wants to be famous like you?" Like that was my aim—getting famous. So I said, "I don't know. Kill a prostitute?"

Thanks Ricky that made my afternoon.

It's a Sunday thing

This OJ is a good vintage

Follow me my child

On Sundays my family meet up at the Wolverton House Hotel for lunch and a chance to catch up with my incredibly scrumptious niece and nephew Em-Jay and Freddie.

This venue has various benefits over the old one (my parents' house) as it has a carvery for those of us who choose to eat, a bar for those of us who choose to drink and a great play ground for all of us because no matter what mood you are in the kids always get us to chase them around the climbing frame and the slides.




Bart and I don't always make it but we did today, and what a great day it was the sun came out and we almost had a full hose only my brother Mick couldn't make it today (Get well soon Mick) so there was plenty to catch up on.

There will be no get together next weekend as the kids are off to Majorca in the morning for some sun and sand. I hope Sharon and Damien get some time to relax.

Her are some pictures of a typical Kelly Sunday.

Em-Jay helps Mum and Granddad to figure how to get from the air port to the hotel tomorrow using the sat nav.





See you all in two weeks time.

Here's one for the mums

Has this happened to any of you guys?

And back to the norm

Puppy attacks door stopper.